Old Man Running Up the Stairs Funny Reddit
I went to my girlfriend's house last night for a romantic night in...
It was amazing, we had a three course meal with champagne over candle light, we then snuggled up on the sofa, to watch a movie, then, when we went up stairs, I let her get changed, while I spread rose petals over the bed, then, we had the most amazing, mind blowing sex that I've ever had, but just as I was about to finish, her parents walked in...
I am now banned from babysitting.
My wife shouted upstairs, "the sun's just come out."
My wife shouted upstairs, "the sun's just come out." I thought great, threw on some shorts and flip flops and shot down the stairs. I was rather shocked when I got down to find our lad holding hands with his mate Michael.
After almost a year in a coma my wife is having to learn the basics again.
How to walk, how to talk, how to feed herself and how to not argue with me at the top of the stairs again.
A lady almost 9 months pregnant falls down some stairs and knocks herself out...
When she wakes up, she is in a hospital bed.
Doctor: "We had to deliver your fraternal twins while you slept, but they are completely healthy. Also, your brother stopped by and named them for you"
New Mother: "My brother named them? But he's an idiot! What are their names?"
Doctor: "Well, the little girl is named Denise."
New Mother: "Well, that's not so bad. What about my son?"
Doctor: "Denephew."
Some people are like Slinkies...
Some people are like Slinkies.
Not really good for anything, but they can still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.
how many corrections officers does it take to throw an inmate down the stairs?
none he fell
Instructions for falling down stairs...
Step 1
Step 2
Step 4
Step 8
I bought a book on how to build stairs
Its a step by step guide
BIG fight
Me and the wife had a big fight,she told me to leave the house. To spite her I went upstairs and packed my bags. As I was walking down the stairs, a suitcase in each hand, I see she's waiting for me at the foot of the stairs. When we're at eye level, she says to me. 'I hope you die a slow and painful death.' Looking into her eyes, I reply, "So, now you want me to stay?'
How do you keep a blonde busy for years?
Tell her to count the stairs on an escalator.
What do you call a scam artist who is walking down the stairs?
Condescending
You can explore stairs walkway reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean stairs handrail dad jokes. There are also stairs puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A woman was 9 months pregnant...
...and she didn't wanna go to the hospital no matter what. One day she is walking up the stairs inside her home when her water breaks, she then lays down Right there and gives birth with the assistance of her husband. Once the baby is born the mother is holding her baby and says to her husband "I don't think this is yours..." He looks at her confused and asks "what do you mean?", she looks him in the eyes and says "because it's a step-child"
Instructions for falling down the stairs:
Step 1, step 6, step 7, step 8, step 12.
How to Fall Down the Stairs
Step 1
Step 2
Step 5
Step 9
Step 12
Floor
Little Johnny is walking down the street and sees a construction site building new houses
He has a look at what's going on and he's amazed and in awe of it all. He rushes home as fast as he can. He runs in and shouts ''Dad, dad, can we play builders?'' His dad says ''Sure Johnny''
Johnny runs to the top of the stairs and shouts ''Oi, get them bricks up here now you cunt''
some people are like slinkys
They really aren't good for anything but it feels great when you push them down the stairs.
I don't trust stairs...
They look like they're up to something.
I know a hypnotist who could control the whole audience.
He'd enter the room, say 'sleep' and everyone would fall asleep.
He'd say ''laugh'', the audience would burst out laughing.
One day, he entered the room where he would make his show as usual, but tripped in the stairs; and yelled ''shit''!
The room took three hours to clean.
Slip of the Tongue
Joe has a broken leg. Mike comes over and asks, "How you doing', Joe?"
Joe says, "Do me a favor: Run upstairs and get my slippers."
Mike goes upstairs and sees Joe's gorgeous 19-year-old twin daughters. He says, "your dad sent me up here to have sex with both of you."
One girl replies, "Get out of here. Prove it?"
Mike shouts down stairs -, "Hey, Joe, both of 'em?"
Joe shouts back, "of course, both of 'em!" What's the point of fuckin' one?"
Some people are like slinkies
Not really good for much, but bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs
How to fall down stairs
Step 1
Step 6
Step 8, 9, 11, 12
I was sitting in church when a guy walked in and said hi to me.
He then walked up into the tower of the church and hit his face against the large bell a few times.
#BONG BONG BONG
He then walked back down the stairs and said "See you later mate" and walked out. As he left a few fellow church goers said to me, "Do you know that guy?"
I replied, "I don't think so, but his face rings a bell"
What do you call a snobbish criminal falling down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
I asked a librarian if there are any books on discrimination against people in wheelchairs.
She replied "Yes, it's up the stairs, on the top shelf to the left."
My physics teacher said i have potential
and then pushed me down the stairs
How to fall down stairs
* Step 1
* Step 2
* Step 4
* Step 15
Never trust stairs,
They're always up to something.
How many police officers does it take to push a black man down the stairs?
None. "He fell".
A boy and his father are in an argument
Father: "I've had enough of this! Go to your room and don't come back out until you've thought long and hard about what you've done"
Son: "Fine, I didn't want to be here anyways"
Son: *Stomps up stairs*
Son: *Walks into his room, gently closes the door*
Son: "Jim Morrison sucks!"
Father: "What did I tell you about slamming The Doors!?"
I threw an Asian man down a flight of stairs.
It was Wong on so many levels
Some people are like slinkies
They don't really have a purpose but it still brings a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs
I threw a Chinese man down the stairs...
It was Wong on so many levels.
How many cops does it take to push a minority down the stairs?
None, "He fell"
Instructions how to fall down stairs:
Step 1
Step 2
Step 4
Step 14
How many cops does it take to throw a black guy down the stairs?
None. He fell.
saw my wife lying at the bottom of the stairs I thought to myself,
She was right, I am pushy"
My wife shouted at me to go out and find her some tampons, quick!
So, I sprinted to the car, paced down the street, rushed into the store, frantically looking down each aisle until I finally got to the tampons, hurried back to my car and raced home as fast as I could! I burst in through the front door, ran up the stairs, slammed open the bathroom door and shouted, "Walmart, halfway down aisle 10, bottom shelf!"
A paralyzed man says to his friend, Go upstairs and get my shoes. My feet are cold
The friend goes upstairs and sees the paralyzed man's two sexy 17 year old daughters.
He says, Your father sent me up here to have sex with you.
One of the girls replies, That couldn't possibly be true!
The man says I'll prove it and then yells towards the stairs, Both of them?
The paralyzed man yells back Of course both of them!
How to fall down the stairs
Step 1
Step 2
Step 4,6,9,13,18,24
A dad is sitting on the couch in his living room
He hears his son start walking down the stairs and then loud banging and rumbling
Dad: Son what happened?
Son: it's nothing i just dropped my shirt down the stairs
Dad: it sounded a lot heavier than a shirt
Son: yeah it's because i was wearing it
So I was showing my friends the first floor of my house
When one of them said "What's upstairs?"
I told him that the stairs don't talk.
A boy knocks his father down the stairs in a freak accident.
The father breaks his neck and dies, leaving his son to mourn for days. However, one night, the boy wakes up to see an apparition of his father before him. All at once, he breaks down crying, and screams out, "I'm sorry!"
His father responds, "Hi Sorry, I'm dead!"
If laziness was an Olympic sport
I would've placed 4th so I wouldn't have to climb the winners' stairs
How to fall down the stairs.
Step 1.
Step 2.
Step 3.
Step 7.
Step 11.
Step 17.
Tom was not home at his usual hour and his wife was fuming.
Finally around 3am she heard a noise at the front door and, as she stood at the top of the stairs, there was her husband, drunk as a skunk, trying to navigate the stairs.
Do you realise what time it is?!? she stammered.
He answered, "Don't get excited, I'm late because I bought something for the house.
Immediately her attitude changed, and running down the stairs to meet him halfway, she asked What did you buy for the house, dear?"
Tom answered A round of drinks!"
Locked in her basement
A woman I work with locked me in her basement for two months once and used me as her sex slave.
One day I noticed she forgot to lock the door and I thought, "Great, this is my chance!"
So I ran up the stairs and grabbed the phone.
Half hour later the pizza arrived, and I went back down to the basement.
Step by step guide on how to fall down stairs
Step 1:
Step 2:
Step 4:
Step 7:
Step 12:
Step 18:
Step 25:
Hospital
A prisoner slipped on the stairs 5 years into his 14 year sentence.
He suffered some minor injuries but he decided to pretend to be in a coma for rest of his sentence.
When he finally decided to drop the act on the last day of his sentence, the warden arrested him again, because you aren't supposed to end a sentence with a coma.
"Can I use your WiFi?"
An American guy visits a friend in Scotland.
When he arrives at his friend's house, he asks "Can I use your WiFi?".
The friend looks a bit perplexed, but then he smiles and says "Sure ye can, she's up th' stairs."
A blonde and two brunettes had to climb 100 stairs without laughing
On each stair they were told a joke, and they got funnier every stair higher.
The first brunette only made it to the first stair.
The second brunette made it to the fifth stair before she laughed.
The blonde slowly made her way up all the stairs, until finally she was at the 99th stair, where she let out a chuckle.
The brunettes, in awe of how well she did, asked her why she laughed.
She replied I finally got the first joke
My husband always takes the elevator, whereas I always prefer the stairs.
**I guess we are raised differently :/**
they have a Roomba now that can clean stairs
which sucks on so many levels
How to fall down the stairs
Step 1.
Step 2.
Step 3.
Step 6.
Step 11.
Step 16.
Floor.
What do you call a wizard who fell down the stairs?
Tumbledore
The Boss always insisted that only Abdul should serve his coffee, but
yesterday, this conversation happened.
Boss: Abdul, since the last 8 years you have brought me coffee filled to the brim without spilling even a drop.
How do you manage that over these stairs?
Abdul: Sir, just before I climb up the stairs, I take a big sip. As I get upstairs, I put it back.
Today is Abdul's farewell party.
I wrote a book on how to fall down the stairs.
It's a step by step guide.
I've never fully trusted stairs
They're always up to something
Apology
(an old Yiddish joke)
The court jester argued with the king about whether an apology could be worse than the crime.
Later that day the king was going up the stairs when he felt a hand on his behind. He turned around to see the jester.
"I'm sorry your Highness, I apologize. I thought you were the Queen.
I trust escalators even less than stairs…
Because, unlike stairs, they are automatically up to something.
I have a really hard time trusting stairs...
...they're always up to something...
Why can't you trust stairs?
They're always up to something.
What's it called when two Slinkys descend the stairs at the same time?
Slinkronisation.
Source: https://jokojokes.com/stairs-jokes.html
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